Man oh man, I want to eat greasy cheese so badly!! But my challenge today is to successfully keep an anti-nausea pill down, and then, maybe some pretzels! Gourmet bliss…
So, since I got on the fast track chemo plan, here’s what’s happened:
Wednesday AM: Port placed under the skin on my upper chest.
Wednesday PM: Chemo Class. Almost two hours (!!)
Thursday AM: Infusion of steroids, fluids, anti-nausea med, and chemotherapy drugs. Portable pump hooked up to my port. All told, about 3 hours, plus 1 hour of oncology consult.
Friday: Did fine, exercised in the AM, some afternoon nausea, then went to dinner with Matt & my parents. Getting used to pump and tube dangling at my side making sounds like an automatic soap dispenser every 60 sec.
Saturday: Vomit, walk, eat some, drive to oncology clinic to get pump removed, fluids infused. Vomit again. Home, anti-nausea pill, vomit, sip water, vomit again, another anti-nausea pill, spoon of applesauce, ginger tea, vomit some more. Ok, what am I doing wrong here!!
Boy, did things change in a hurry! I was told at the clinic that the anti-nausea pills help one to feel not so nauseous, but not help with the vomiting. Huh? Oh great. >:-( I guess this will take a lot of experimentation. This, they remind me, is just the beginning. The meds will have a cumulative effect, then I’ll go from feeling lousy to feeling, what’s worse than lousy? Guess, I will let you know!
Matt is very sensitive and feels so sadly that he sees my misery and cannot protect me from it. I cannot reassure him, but I have to say, he is really showing strength, being gentle, unlike his usual exuberant self. It is not easy for a loving partner to stand by helpless.
In the meantime, I could not be happier than to lay motionless all day long in my bed in silence!! Getting taken care of, and dreaming about foods I miss. The little things!